


For Five Minutes

by Merixcil



Series: Tumblr Fics [78]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Humor, sillies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23495461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merixcil/pseuds/Merixcil
Summary: Tim and Damian watch Bruce try to deal with The Joker from afar
Relationships: Tim Drake & Damian Wayne
Series: Tumblr Fics [78]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759627
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	For Five Minutes

“What’s he doing?”

“I cannot see. Your elbow is blocking my sight-line.”

“I told you this wasn’t a great vantage point.”

“Its only failing is that you have invaded it. Move, Drake.”

“Ah, ah ah! Codenames in the field.”

The grinding of Damian’s teeth echoes loud. “Very well, Red Robin.”

“Thank you, Robin.”

They’re stationed at Robinson Park, in the upper boughs of one of the big oak trees overlooking the wide lawn looking towards the greenhouses. For once, they’re here for non-Poison Ivy related reasons.

Bruce is in full Batman uniform, his silhouette clear even in the dark as the grass lights up blue in the perpetual twilight of the big city. Next to him, The Joker is a riot of colour, clearly shaking with laughter even at this distance. Bruce had announced that he needed to meet the clown in a public place less than an hour ago, and Tim’s almost certain he only chose himself and Damian as backup because they happened to be in the Manor at the time.

“What are they saying?” Damian asks.

Tim strains his ears through the headset linked up to the Batsuit’s mic system to try to hear what The Joker is currently rambling about. Most of the sound is lost in the wind. He shakes his head. “Bruce keeps telling him to stop but that could mean anything.”

“The Joker has been rather quiet of late, I cannot think that father has much need to beg him to cease activities right now.”

Zooming in with the binoculars, Tim does what he can to try to lipread what The Joker is saying. Every time Bruce starts to talk, a slight popping noise cuts in over the wind, followed by the desperate gasps of the clown half strangling himself with laughter. All the Bat equipment should be perfectly calibrated and Bruce knows better than to lean to hard on his plosives when he’s on the line with a support team, The Joker’s got to be responsible for the popping noise.

“Oh my God.” Tim breathes.

Damian looks up at him. “What?”

“Have you ever seen Shrek Two?”

“Now is not the time to discuss children’s movies.”

“But have you seen it?”

“Of course.”

“You know in the coach ride, when Donkey keeps making that noise with his mouth because he’s bored and Shrek wants to kick his head in?”

“Yes…”

“Guess what The Joker’s doing.”

Damian’s eyes go wide, looking back towards the scene unfolding on the lawn below them. Tim follows suit and finds that Bruce has lost his last shred of patience and has started after The Joker in a very undignified footrace. A strangled cry of frustration bubbles up through the earpiece, followed by a laugh that he doesn’t need any high-level spyware to hear. Tim’s face slowly falls open in slack jawed disbelief. “How long must he have been at it to piss Batman off like that?”

“No idea.” Damian’s voice is thick with wonder. “But I think I know how to persuade father to get me a pet budgie.”

“Codenames!”

“Oh, fuck you, Red Robin.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my [tumblr](https://jeffersonhairpie.tumblr.com/). You can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/chadfuture_)
> 
> Comments are love!


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